i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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