i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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