Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
