JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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