Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
