Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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