wrigley field is MILF paradise
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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