Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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