Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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