Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize