I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
