somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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