Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
