Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
