Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So vagazzling was a success
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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