Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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