After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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