My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
do herpes really smell.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
