do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
