I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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