@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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