is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
