I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
