Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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