Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
