is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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