Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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