Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
