I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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