Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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