Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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