I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
