Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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