if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
