I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
