When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
