ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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