if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
