just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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