I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
