yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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