Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize