i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
