So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
