Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
