You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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