I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
