Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
