yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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