im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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