I smell stomach acid.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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