I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
