oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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