I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize