Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
