So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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