just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
